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The Etiquette of Stress Management
Stress is never an excuse for bad manners
by April Nagel
June 23, 2009
Like it or not, stress is a large part of all of our lives. We juggle way too many things both in
and out of the workplace, and given today's uncertain economic times, additional worries about
finances and job security have been added to the mix.
Some people seem to be born with a larger capacity to handle stress while others function
better under pressure. Regardless of one's ability to handle or hide stress, it wears on our bodies
and affects our health in negative ways. It also affects our personalities and can create
opportunities for unprofessional behavior.
Living with stress can cause us to feel overwhelmed and distracted. When we feel overloaded,
we respond without thinking, become short-tempered and thoughtless and appear to others as if we
are losing control. We make decisions and judgment calls we might not otherwise make. Stress can
also have the opposite effect and cause some individuals to become immobile and quiet, unable to
make a decision or take any action.
It is very important to control your response to stress in the workplace. If you are in a
position of authority, your inability to "keep it all together" has a tremendous effect on the
respect and confidence your staff has for you. As an individual, displaying a negative reaction to
the stress in your life will determine how your co-workers and management team view you and can
definitely affect your career path in a negative way.
Most stress is caused by a feeling of being out of control in our lives and our environment.
Some of those things we can change and others we can't, but it is important to evaluate where the
stress is coming from and take steps to control those things you can and determine healthy coping
mechanisms for those you cannot.
I would offer the following five tips for mannerly stress management:
- Make lists. If I work from a daily, weekly and long-term list, I remain in control of the important things I need to remember and complete. There is tremendous relief in checking "things done" off your list or in just reading over it periodically to reassure yourself you are on top of things.
- Think before you act. When I'm stressed, I take a deep breath before responding, or suggest that I will get back shortly with my answer. That allows me to really weigh and think through my answer or my reaction.
- Manage your stress with positive things like exercise and meditation, not with negative things like drinking or anything where you are simply escaping and not moving forward.
- Have someone you can talk to and trust. Hashing over the areas of concern in your life with a trusted peer, spouse or professional can be critical to managing stress. They can help you develop an action plan or by simply being a listening post, can help you feel better.
- Get out and help others. Giving back, even in a small way, gets you out of yourself and puts everything in perspective. It is helpful to learn and define those things that cause you stress on a daily basis. You may not be able to eliminate them (traffic, a problem child, uncertainty at work...), but you can anticipate your reaction ahead of time and develop the ability to respond or cope calmly.
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